Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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