he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
