Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
