This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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