I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
