thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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