I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Farmville is her only friend.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
