I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize