as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
