He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
