I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
