Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
this beer tastes like vomit already
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
