think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
