did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
