I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
