whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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