like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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