there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize