How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
