dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
