The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
