im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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