It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
