Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
My vagina just clenched in fear
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize