we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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