Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
