I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
