he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
