He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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