i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize