Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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