It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
