did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
the room spins SO much faster in panama
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
