So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
