hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
