im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
