I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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