I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
