So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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