YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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