Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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