Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
