with your own penis?
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
