$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
