If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
