Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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