i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
