i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
apparently the secret to your success is patron
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Semen is not good for contacts.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
