so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
