I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
