I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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