dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
