Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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