your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
