roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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