I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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