awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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