and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
