he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Randomize
